So fun to be a Malaysian

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR HAIR LOSS:
Maggi Mee
(a popular instant noodle brand)

NATIONAL EXCUSE FOR BEING LATE:
Traffic Jam

NATIONAL CONDOM:
None. Most Malaysians still feel embarrassed buying condoms. So they rush into a 7-11, hurriedly grab the nearest pack, any pack, pay and leave before the cashier can even blink an eye.

NATIONAL FRUIT FOR INDUCING MENSTRUATION:
Pineapple

NATIONAL APHRODISIAC DRINK:
Stout. Many swear by it. But after a few pints they start swearing at everything...

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (MEN):
Food Poisoning
(MC - Medical Leave)

NATIONAL FAKE ILLNESS FOR GETTING MC (WOMEN):
Menstrual Pain
(MC - Medical Leave)

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY WOMEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
Headache, kids not asleep, maid not asleep, mother-in-law around, early appointment, period, haven't removed make-up, haven't had a shower, no water supply, going to watch 'Desperate Housewives', depressed, no mood, etc...

NATIONAL EXCUSES GIVEN BY MEN WHEN REFUSING SEX:
None. Malaysian men never refuse sex
(oh ya??)

NATIONAL CURE FOR HEADACHES:
Panadol. The 'cure for all'. If it fails we have another secret weapon; Tiger Balm

NATIONAL CURE FOR DIZZINESS:
Minyak Angin Cap Kapak

NATIONAL CAUSE OF DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
Happy Hours

NATIONAL INSTANT CURE FOR DIZZINESS (FOR YUPPIES):
The sight of a police roadblock

NATIONAL RUBBISH DUMP:
Anywhere. As long as it is not your house.


NATIONAL MOST MIS-PRONOUNCED NAME:
Carrefour. Sometimes even pronounced as Carry 4! On second thought, why bother pronouncing stupid French brands like Peugeot, Renault or Citroen correctly. I think it sounds better,when the local mechanics say 'Pew Jeot'. When I was in school, Milo was always 'MeeLo', now that I'm sophisticated, I say 'My Lo'. So don't be embarrassed saying 'Carry 4' when the Mat Sallehs shamelessly pronounce orang utan as 'rangootan'.

NATIONAL ROADSIDE DISTRACTION:
The Bra-less Tourist. See how heads turn and traffic slows down when a bra-less Mat Salleh backpacker goes 'bouncing' about on the streets.